Preface: December 2nd was the first day of Advent in the She Reads Truth Advent series. Last night’s scripture reading was from Micah 7:7:
“I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. He will hear me.”
Read on to find out why that scripture on that day was significant…
Yesterday, I gave birth to my blog baby. Nine months ago, I launched This is Thirty Four into the world. Like birthing an actual child, I’ve coddled this website and the dream of a writing career from the day it was conceived. Also similar to an actual child, I made lots of assumptions about what “it” would be like: what I would write about, how many “followers” I would gain, what opportunities I would be presented with.
What I didn’t think of was how the process of writing and sharing my life would change me. Nine months ago I couldn’t have foreseen the way that God would use what started as my desire to achieve and be known to HUMBLE ME and help me understand what it means to FIND MY IDENTITY AND MY REST IN HIM.
“A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Nine months ago, I thought I’d use This is Thirty Four to tell the story of my own victory over challenges I’ve faced in life. Yet, during this gestational period, I realized that it isn’t my victory or my story at all. MY LIFE IS A TESTIMONY TO GOD’S POWER, GRACE AND MERCY.
How did I recover from an eating disorder in my early 20s?
BY THE GRACE OF GOD.
How do I live with and fight anxiety attacks as they threaten to steal my joy?
BY FILLING MY HEART AND MIND WITH HIS TRUTH.
How can I cure the ails of perfectionism and stop placing so much emphasis on material things? By remembering that I AM ONLY MADE PERFECT BY HIS BLOOD and EVERYTHING I HAVE IS FROM HIM.
Any story I share is one HE has written.
“He must increase, and I must decrease.” John 3:30
I turn 35 on Friday. What has been one of the most challenging years of my life is finally coming to a close. The past few weeks, I’ve been reflecting on the lessons I’ve learned this year. Here are two:
I can make plans for the future, but the Lord directs my steps each day.
More of Him. Less of me. In all things.
Can I be honest? I’m embarrassed that it’s taken me 35 years to figure these things out. I wonder if I could have learned these lessons earlier and in another way; but I don’t think so.
We see the blessings God has given us in the good times, but we EXPERIENCE GOD and GROW TOGETHER WITH HIM in our difficulties. The easy seasons of life call us to praise what God has done. The hard seasons show us who God is and how much we need HIM to guide us every step of the way.
I assumed that when the tough stuff ended--when I made it to the other side of my year of “wandering in the wilderness”--I’d emerge with clear direction and renewed focus, both for my writing and my life. I spent months praying for clarity, and God seemed silent.
Sometimes the wilderness can end, but the waiting continues.
The closer I came to 35, the more frustrated I became over God’s silence. Not only would the URL I (poorly) chose no longer make sense (if it ever did), but I could not reconcile the feeling that I was supposed to keep writing with the lack of direction for what to write about.
I was cooking breakfast when the phrase came to me:
STYLE YOUR LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT.
Immediately, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace and excitement. I paused and reflected on where the words came from. I wasn’t thinking about anything other than eggs at the time.
STYLE YOUR LIFE FROM THE INSIDE OUT BY KNOWING JESUS, LOVING WELL AND BEING INTENTIONAL.
It even fit with my core values, the things I’m passionate about and what I’ve already been sharing.
And then it hit me: Those words were from HIM. At what felt like the 11th hour, God showed up. On the day of my blog’s “birth,” He answered my prayer for clarity, not just for this website but for my 35th year of life.
KNOW JESUS. LOVE WELL. BE INTENTIONAL.
So how do I know that those words were from God?
To a certain extent, I don’t. We can never TRULY know, this side of Heaven, whether we have heard the voice of God. If we could audibly hear His voice or know with 100% confidence that He was telling us to do something, we wouldn’t need faith. I once heard a pastor say, “On the outside chance I heard God, I’m gonna do what He told me.”
Same here, Pastor.
When I think I hear the voice of God, I do ask myself a few questions. If the answers to these questions are yes, then I (usually) take it as a green light to move in the direction I feel Him leading me.
1.) Did I pray about it?
2.) Is what I think I’m hearing God tell me to do in line with Biblical truth?
3.) Do I feel a sense of peace about what I’m hearing?
4.) Have other people or life circumstances aligned and affirmed what I’m hearing?
This is, by no means, an exhaustive list of questions; and of course, if the decision was about something bigger than the direction to take the content of a website, I would talk with more people, continue to read scripture and PRAY, PRAY, PRAY.
But for now, for this decision, I can confidently say that God spoke, and I am listening.
One more thing before I go…
I mentioned this post on social media last week. At the time, I only had a few lines of it written. Last night, I sat down to write and couldn’t come up with a single word. So it seems, we’ve come full circle.
Any story I share really is one that HE HAS WRITTEN.
“I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me.” Micah 7:7